if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
