thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
