it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
