I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
