marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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