I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Randomize