Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
