we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
