Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
