so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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