New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
