Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
