Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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