it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
