You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
