it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
