Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
