As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
