And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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