every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
