i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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