just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Randomize
