I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
