Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize