u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
