I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
