dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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