All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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