Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
