Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
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