My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
