Who wears a wallet chain?!
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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