Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
