This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
