I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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