worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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