I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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