you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
