you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Come back. Shots need mouths.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
