playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
