the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
True college students do jello shots in the library
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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