so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
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