i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Randomize
