Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
