So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
