Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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