just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
