Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
