you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Did we literally take a cab across the street
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize