party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
Say something about gay babies.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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