He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
