Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize