I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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