so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
