SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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