Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
not ubering you a puppy
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize