TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Couch. On fire.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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