i permit you to call me
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize