1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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