Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
