is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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