he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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