do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
