then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
