ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
