the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
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