from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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