I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
