I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
