i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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