I want to have your abortion
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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