Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
lol hangovers are for mortals.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
