im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Randomize
