meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize