sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
