im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
