There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
