Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
