In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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