Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
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