My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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