His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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