when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I am spending my child support on dildos
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
Randomize
