dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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