she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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