no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Randomize
